I’ve been researching gender and negotiation since 2014. I’ve spoken to over 20,000 women across the country and coached hundreds through their negotiations. And here’s what research from Laura Kray at Berkeley shows:
Women are now asking as often as men – but we’re only successful half as often.
This means awareness isn’t the problem anymore. 🎉
What we need now are strategies that actually work. That’s what this email is about.
Here are 5 resources that will help you successfully negotiate your salary:
1. Benchmark Your Compensation (but don’t use AI)
I’d argue that the information asymmetry is the #1 thing disadvantaging women because getting the right data is SO HARD. That said, with this resource you can learn a lot in an hour, and significantly improve your chances of success.
Important note on AI: AI is great for brainstorming what to ask for and practicing your pitch. PLEASE don’t use it for benchmarking; recent research shows AI is recommending women ask for about 20% less than men because “bias in, bias out”. 🙄
2. Understand What the Negotiation Is Worth
Negotiating takes time. (Fun fact: 83% of workplace negotiations take multiple days; the median is 25 days.)
Before you invest that time, it helps to know what’s at stake. Salary increases compound because future raises build on your new (higher) base.
Use this calculator to see what ONE negotiation is worth over your career. For example: a 30-year-old making $120K who negotiates a 10% increase gains an additional $760K before retiring at 65 – even if she never negotiates again. 💸
3. Don’t Just Ask for Salary
Here’s the secret: gender gaps in other compensation areas are even BIGGER than the wage gap.
Stock options? 👉 80% gap.
Performance bonuses? 👉 72% gap.
Team size? 👉 25-40% gap.
This is why I focus on holistic negotiation – not just base pay but also bonuses, equity, title, reporting structure, resources, flexibility, professional development, etc.
Not sure what to ask for? Check out our 76 things women successfully negotiate.
4. Use This Formula to Prepare Your Ask
Want to see how to structure your ask? Watch my 8-min Tedx talk – it shows you exactly how to frame your negotiation for success.
Then check out my posts on Making a Relational Ask, Negotiating Collaboratively and Exact Language to Use in Your Negotiation.
Real example: One client recently increased her compensation by 27%. She also negotiated more headcount, EA support, and an executive coach. That’s the power of holistic negotiation.
Want more inspiration? Check out our success stories of women negotiating raises, fertility benefits, remote work, promotions – all kinds of things!
5. Plan a Reward
13,000 pages of research later, my favorite insight is this: negotiations have better outcomes when you plan a reward immediately following the conversation.
Want ideas? Here are 101 of them!. 🍾
Need More Support?
- Negotiating a job offer: Take our 45-minute on-demand course.
- Negotiating with your current employer: We have a course for that too.
- Want 1-on-1 support: Check out negotiation coaching. We’ll work through your specific situation together.
If your compensation doesn’t reflect your contribution, you CAN change that.
